How I developed Resiliency (and you can, too!)

What’s the trait you’re most proud of? What about the trait you find yourself relying on the most?

For me, it’s my resiliency.

One night towards the end of summer camp, my friend asked if there was something I felt like I improved on during my time there.

“My resiliency”. I said after a brief moment of thought. “And my ability to think on my feet has improved”.

Do you consider yourself resilient? How well do you recover from setbacks?

I took forever to develop resiliency.

How do you develop resiliency?

Take it day by day.

There’s a trend on social media to never show our bad days. As a result, we get confirmation bias that people rarely have things that get in the way of their goal.

Sure, you might have one or two people on Instagram who post about their bad days, but how often do they follow up with “BUT! Better days are to follow!”

Annoying, right? Especially when you’re lying in bed depressed trying to find some dog memes to cheer you up.

I can guarantee that person needed to take a few hours, or even a day, before they could post that status or caption.

Whenever I have a bad day or a bad grade, I turn to the people I’m closest to and express my frustration.

Letting out how you feel helps you move on from whatever set you back. It gives you less time to ruminate over what you feel and let’s you turn to why you feel it.

Which leads to the next little bit:

Let yourself grieve

Give yourself a few hours or a day to let yourself feel bad. By doing this you’re reducing the likelihood the feeling will come back as strong as it was when you first felt it.

When I got a poor grade back on a test this semester, I spent the day letting my frustration run its course. Since then it hasn’t popped up. What has, though, is the desire to do better next time. And the drive to do so.

Develop a plan and move on

For a long time, I never developed a plan. I figured, “whatever, this won’t happen again”

Spoiler alert: It does.

The best thing you can do is look objectively at what happened and ask yourself two things:

-What did I control?

-What was out of my control?

Focus on what was in your control and pick 2 things you can do next time to fix it.

For example, I got a poor grade on my physiology exam.

What was in my control? My study habits, and my class notes. Immediately after the day I took to grieve, I set up a study group. I made sure to pay extra attention to how I re-wrote my notes, drawing out the diagrams we went over in class in detail.

Like any skill, resiliency takes practice. Hardships are a natural part of life; not letting them get to you is what makes each set back more bearable than the last.

What’s your favorite example of a time when you were resilient?

Let me know in the comments below, on Twitter, Instagram (I track the tag #centerstagecoffeebeans), or Facebook! You can even Snap it to me!

Talk to you soon!



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